Prompt: One of the most remarkable things about me, according to Akers, is my wit.
I’m not sure he realized how hard it is to be witty on the spot. My sass is usually a spur of the moment type thing. Like when I see something ironic, I can’t help but say something about it…wow that was super articulate. Anyways, I’ve never tried to write Sass. I’m not sure it can even be done. So I guess I’ll just talk about myself. Plenty of ammo there. Hopefully I don’t get too offended.
I’m a snob. I know I’m a snob. I’m not afraid of being one. I try to live my life by one of my many mottoes, “surround yourself with beauty.” You wouldn’t know it based on this ride on the disease infested 66. I’m headed to target in Streeterville. As my friends from home call it, “white people Wal-Mart.” I have to admit they’re right. Even though they are a discount retailer, there’s an air of pretentiousness that’s just delicious. I put some Space Bags and plastic wrap in my cart. I stop in front of the greeting card section and wonder if there’s something off about buying my dad’s birthday card and lube in the same transaction. I shrug and head to checkout.